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Johnsmeyer calling Suze Orman w/ "Scream" voice distorter
| Gold Stain | 06/11/14 |
| Talented generalized bond | 06/11/14 |
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| Talented generalized bond | 06/12/14 |
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| Talented generalized bond | 06/12/14 |
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| Talented generalized bond | 06/13/14 |
| Talented generalized bond | 06/13/14 |
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| fluffy doobsian school cafeteria pistol | 10/08/15 |
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| Nighttime national kitty cat | 11/18/15 |
| bronze ratface | 11/18/15 |
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| Indigo Heaven Faggot Firefighter | 12/17/15 |
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| bespoke provocative marketing idea forum | 05/31/16 |
| Pearly house-broken station | 05/31/16 |
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| mildly autistic bonkers theatre coldplay fan | 11/29/16 |
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| Razzle-dazzle saffron step-uncle's house fortuitous meteor | 06/03/17 |
| Rambunctious shaky ceo foreskin | 12/10/18 |
| glittery queen of the night wrinkle | 01/29/18 |
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| Rambunctious shaky ceo foreskin | 12/10/18 |
| Cyan Antidepressant Drug | 06/25/19 |
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| Yellow office circlehead | 06/21/24 |
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| bronze ratface | 07/24/16 |
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| trip frum market sandwich | 02/09/25 |
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:36 PM Author: Gold Stain (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733527) |
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: Talented generalized bond You should've been a comedy writer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733532) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: Magenta Kitchen Pervert (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733535) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:39 PM Author: Yellow office circlehead (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733537) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: Talented generalized bond Suze: "sir, can I ask how tall you are."
*very long pause*
Robot/monster voice: " five nine" |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: Yellow office circlehead LOL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733551) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:41 PM Author: Gold Stain laughing & convlusing & foamign at mouth at work lmfao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733555) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 3:56 PM Author: federal travel guidebook (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27619755) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:59 PM Author: Mustard gas station (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733697) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 12:11 AM Author: Fighting buff chapel (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25733775) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:22 PM Author: Talented generalized bond (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738401) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: hairraiser onyx black woman (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738402) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: magical boiling water (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738403) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:36 PM Author: Navy psychic skinny woman holy shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738512) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:38 PM Author: mahogany death wish Holy shit screaming/vomiting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25738527) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 8:23 PM Author: Talented generalized bond JFC (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25739208) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:10 PM Author: Mustard gas station i really dont know why but this cracks me the eff up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25743978) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:22 PM Author: Yellow office circlehead Well to start, you have Suze Orman neighing a complete non-sequitur of a question that hits at the linchpin of Johnsmeyer's tragic character: his height. Who knows why that has come up? Maybe PAYE? Maybe estate planning re a farm with gold statues? Maybe what to do with his minor league performance bonus? So we get a brilliant start.
Then we get stuck in the long pause purgatory, but it's a good purgatory. We know what might happen next and on first read, 8 times out of 10 we'll guess correctly. But during the long pause your anticipation wells up. You can envision Johnsmeyer nervously fumbling with the Scream robot voice machine pressed against an old landline phone with a curly cord that's way, way too long in a dark Manhattan basement closet apartment, thinking of whether to answer truthfully and whether the Scream robot voice machine is actually working to cover his identity. It's not that he's weird, he's just shy, a little embarrassed and wants anonymity. It's really absurd, but you give the little guy the benefit of the doubt and hope he doesn't hang up out of fear while pissing his pants. Besides, chances are he already pissed his pants after the big Suze asked him about his relationship status, which prompted him to look up at an out of focus picture of some girl named Dutchess that's the only thing on his otherwise bare windowless walls.
You see all this in the long pause which is then pierced by the Scream robot voice as it responds "five nine" which is hilarious because it's earnestly delivered in such an bizarre manner. You can hear the voice clearly in your head while envisioning Johnsmeyer in his apartment and Suze and her producers in the studio wondering wtf kind of savant is on the other end of the line. But it's doubly hilarious because we all know Johnsy boy is really five seven, on a good day. |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:25 PM Author: Talented generalized bond TY FOR YOUR SERVICE (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744029) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:29 PM Author: Talented generalized bond (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744049) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:30 PM Author: Fighting buff chapel Poast of the year (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744051) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:31 PM Author: Khaki razzmatazz friendly grandma this is scholarship (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744053) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:32 PM Author: Mustard gas station Loool 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744063) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:35 PM Author: fear-inspiring orange partner suze orman keeping steady, unconcerned eye contact into the camera during the pause (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744079) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:42 PM Author: awkward range I read this with the Charlie Kelly voice (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744101) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:53 PM Author: Navy psychic skinny woman whoa (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744164) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:59 PM Author: hairraiser onyx black woman (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25744191) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:33 PM Author: Spectacular church indirect expression (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25745855) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 10:55 PM Author: Gold Stain (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25746687) |
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Date: February 14th, 2015 5:47 PM Author: Spectacular church indirect expression (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27315083) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 4:04 PM Author: ruby ladyboy locus 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27619800) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 10:01 PM Author: racy carnelian windowlicker hunting ground (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28487531) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 11:57 PM Author: Indigo Heaven Faggot Firefighter (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28488640) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:24 AM Author: bespoke provocative marketing idea forum (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28489891) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:28 AM Author: Fragrant Fuchsia Meetinghouse Becky lol you're like the judge who wrote the Pepsi Points opinion from 1L contracts (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28489907) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:39 AM Author: violent plaza private investor How did I miss this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28489936) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 10:43 AM Author: jet house pozpig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28490163) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:33 PM Author: fluffy doobsian school cafeteria pistol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28491214) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:34 PM Author: lilac passionate brethren (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28491223) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:56 PM Author: useless abode international law enforcement agency there is some true comedic talent on this bort (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28497490) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:59 PM Author: Pea-brained public bath gunner lol damn dude, nice work (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28497522) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:05 AM Author: fluffy doobsian school cafeteria pistol the real important part is that this only took 12 minutes to write (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28924462) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:39 AM Author: diverse love of her life indian lodge curly phone cord that's way too long really hit home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28924483) |
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Date: November 18th, 2015 3:44 PM Author: Nighttime national kitty cat (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29207618) |
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Date: November 18th, 2015 3:48 PM Author: bronze ratface (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29207642) |
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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:19 PM Author: racy carnelian windowlicker hunting ground (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29401582) |
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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:24 PM Author: Indigo Heaven Faggot Firefighter (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#29401618) |
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Date: March 14th, 2016 12:56 AM Author: Smoky Place Of Business State (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#30051818) |
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Date: May 31st, 2016 3:10 PM Author: bespoke provocative marketing idea forum (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#30594657) |
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Date: May 31st, 2016 3:17 PM Author: Pearly house-broken station (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#30594696) |
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Date: July 24th, 2016 9:14 AM Author: Fighting buff chapel (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#31014517) |
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Date: November 29th, 2016 6:59 PM Author: mildly autistic bonkers theatre coldplay fan (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#32018277) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2017 8:48 AM Author: Hyperactive New Version Den (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#33453658) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2017 12:59 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle saffron step-uncle's house fortuitous meteor ljl at anyone who says this place hasn't gone downhill with all the politics and crypto spam (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#33463157) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: Rambunctious shaky ceo foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#37381941) |
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Date: January 29th, 2018 10:12 PM Author: glittery queen of the night wrinkle (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#35273685) |
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Date: May 13th, 2018 9:50 PM Author: submissive slap-happy sanctuary cuckold (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#36044055) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: Rambunctious shaky ceo foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#37381939) |
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Date: June 25th, 2019 4:51 AM Author: Cyan Antidepressant Drug this poa was clearly made w/ genuine love (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#38436191) |
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Date: December 25th, 2019 5:59 PM Author: Yellow office circlehead (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#39324796) |
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Date: December 30th, 2019 8:37 PM Author: Spectacular church indirect expression this is the best poast on xo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#39352602) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2020 5:38 PM Author: dashing jet-lagged senate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#39529036) |
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Date: June 26th, 2020 5:32 PM Author: Wine mexican hissy fit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#40501651) |
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Date: March 27th, 2021 12:19 AM Author: exciting son of senegal doctorate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#42172476) |
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Date: June 15th, 2021 9:43 PM Author: cheese-eating nofapping institution (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#42634165) |
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Date: June 21st, 2024 6:27 PM Author: Yellow office circlehead (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#47767334) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:12 PM Author: brindle pontificating codepig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25743993) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 4:12 PM Author: Beta twinkling halford Suze purses her lips, furrows her brow and nods her head sympathetically. She says 'Wellll...' in a manner indicating that she won't be able to provide any helpful advice.
*Audible click from phone, then dial tone*
Suze: "Well it looks like we lost 'Duke' from New York".
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:22 PM Author: Talented generalized bond (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25745763) |
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Date: June 21st, 2014 3:09 PM Author: Odious location (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25790620) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 4:09 PM Author: federal travel guidebook (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#27619838) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 10:01 PM Author: racy carnelian windowlicker hunting ground (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#28487533) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:31 PM Author: Spectacular church indirect expression 1 mother fucking 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2#25745827) |
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