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very odd situation occurred at a wedding i was at last weekend

there was a very strange little guy in the corner. he looked...
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Date: July 11th, 2022 8:42 PM
Author: Shivering Pocket Flask

there was a very strange little guy in the corner. he looked maybe 5’2”, but then when i saw him closer i noticed he was wearing these giant “moon boots” (i don’t know what else to call them) with like 6 inch soles, so no way he was even five feet in his socks. anyway, he spent most of the reception in the corner hunched over his phone, typing like a maniac and then howling with laughter. most people tried to just ignore him.

when all the speeches and everything started he drew up to the crowd and stood next to me. i was struck by how beautiful his face was; basically like a garden gnome version of jared leto. he looked up and asked if this was “an emotional wedding.” i didn’t really understand what he meant, so just nodded to be polite and he did his crazy laugh again. then the bride and groom started the first dance and he totally lost it. later on everybody was trying to figure out what he meant by screaming “justice” as loud as he could while crying, but i was the closest to him and i would swear he was screaming “duchess,” even though that makes even less sense. he wouldn’t respond to anyone asking him to calm down or leave so one of the groomsmen simply picked him up from under his arms and carried him outside. i went outside later to smoke a cigarette and he was still there. he was sitting on the curb for about two minutes with me watching him and then, i shit you not, he somehow swung his tiny legs over a deer that had wandered by and rode off.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#44834802)



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Date: July 11th, 2022 10:38 PM
Author: Shivering Pocket Flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#44835393)



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Date: July 11th, 2022 10:40 PM
Author: Trip Spruce Striped Hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#44835407)



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Date: July 11th, 2022 10:41 PM
Author: Swashbuckling white fanboi fortuitous meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#44835413)



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Date: July 12th, 2022 12:15 AM
Author: Shivering Pocket Flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#44835797)



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Date: July 12th, 2022 8:13 PM
Author: Shivering Pocket Flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#44840314)



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Date: July 12th, 2022 8:17 PM
Author: slate love of her life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#44840325)



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Date: July 12th, 2022 8:21 PM
Author: pink dead candlestick maker giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#44840330)



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Date: July 29th, 2022 9:39 PM
Author: Shivering Pocket Flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#44936377)



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Date: July 29th, 2022 9:43 PM
Author: walnut insane macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#44936392)



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Date: July 29th, 2022 9:43 PM
Author: Cheese-eating Sneaky Criminal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#44936393)



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Date: July 29th, 2022 9:44 PM
Author: Poppy Friendly Grandma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#44936396)



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Date: July 29th, 2022 9:50 PM
Author: Soul-stirring nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#44936409)



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Date: July 29th, 2022 10:09 PM
Author: Floppy Cruel-hearted People Who Are Hurt Pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#44936490)



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Date: July 29th, 2022 10:20 PM
Author: Poppy Friendly Grandma

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/64/1c/c2/641cc21bce452f97bf8102b6ea982b1d.jpg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#44936539)



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Date: September 2nd, 2022 2:37 PM
Author: Shivering Pocket Flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#45110563)



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Date: September 2nd, 2022 2:39 PM
Author: Coiffed mahogany crotch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#45110574)



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Date: September 2nd, 2022 2:40 PM
Author: Bat-shit-crazy cocky gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#45110579)



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Date: September 2nd, 2022 2:41 PM
Author: bossy public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#45110585)



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Date: May 19th, 2023 11:14 AM
Author: Shivering Pocket Flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#46330823)



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Date: May 19th, 2023 11:17 AM
Author: Titillating Dog Poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#46330840)



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Date: December 23rd, 2024 1:12 AM
Author: Shivering Pocket Flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#48477480)



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Date: June 2nd, 2025 10:24 AM
Author: Shivering Pocket Flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#48980464)



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Date: June 15th, 2026 9:36 AM
Author: Robert Byrd Schitt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2#49939868)