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Closing argument time this morning. Inshallah I’ll channel my inner EPAH

...
Opaque Wonderful Lay
  04/29/26
3-5 current posters max has ever done a jury trial
pontificating halford
  04/29/26
You guys do trials in SaAs Law, Ricky?
Opaque Wonderful Lay
  04/29/26
Not Ricky, jewish darkness tp
pontificating halford
  05/01/26
...
angry regret
  05/01/26
...
Umber hairraiser mad cow disease
  04/29/26
...
Opaque Wonderful Lay
  04/29/26
...
angry regret
  05/01/26
the elegant lisp, the sassy hand motions, all of it.
Vigorous anal public bath
  04/29/26
...
mauve volcanic crater laser beams
  04/29/26
...
angry regret
  05/01/26
...
violet piazza elastic band
  04/30/26
...
marvelous brass box office dragon
  05/01/26
you forgot the WOC paralegal
marvelous brass box office dragon
  05/01/26
Flocks of stylish WoCs in business casual attire tp
angry regret
  05/01/26
https://imgur.com/a/does-she-know-xw1Aoz0 :-((( I'd be b...
mauve volcanic crater laser beams
  05/02/26
...
angry regret
  05/02/26
Just got the not guilty verdict. Pretty chill.
Opaque Wonderful Lay
  04/29/26
Did you hit the jury with dat "i'm gay" during clo...
Vigorous anal public bath
  04/29/26
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, in conclusion, I love men
Opaque Wonderful Lay
  04/29/26
...
angry regret
  04/29/26
...
laughsome depressive
  04/29/26
...
Vivacious bonkers immigrant
  04/29/26
180!
mauve volcanic crater laser beams
  04/29/26
hell yeah
Umber hairraiser mad cow disease
  04/29/26
Attorney watching my closing said I TROUNCED the DA. It was ...
Opaque Wonderful Lay
  04/30/26
What happened to the pallets?
Bright Corner
  04/30/26
He dropped a few and they were scattered all over the street...
Opaque Wonderful Lay
  04/30/26
What a retard. Were you saying ur client wasn’t that g...
provocative drab alpha
  05/01/26
To be precise, We got the theft charge dropped at the prelim...
Opaque Wonderful Lay
  05/01/26
How many people are out on the streets at 4 am in ski masks ...
provocative drab alpha
  05/01/26
To be fair, this was in the winter, when temp was in the 30s...
Opaque Wonderful Lay
  05/01/26
Post your closing argument text
Mind-boggling striped hyena
  05/01/26
Don’t have one. I wrote out some bullet points that co...
Opaque Wonderful Lay
  05/01/26
I initially read this as “prancing around the house&rd...
provocative drab alpha
  05/01/26
...
angry regret
  05/01/26
How do you describe reasonable doubt for the retarded proles...
Mind-boggling striped hyena
  05/02/26
I wonder what % of white people own a ski mask vs % of nigge...
provocative drab alpha
  05/01/26
The most prestigious per capita ski mask ownership discussio...
angry regret
  05/01/26
180
laughsome depressive
  05/01/26
180. I love forklift cases
Umber hairraiser mad cow disease
  05/01/26
...
Geriatric flesh theater stage
  04/30/26
How much do you get paid now? Can I hire you?
Mewling awkward gay wizard fanboi
  04/30/26
...
Mewling awkward gay wizard fanboi
  05/01/26
just don't channel your outer EPAH. no one thinks of Kermit ...
gold costumed affirmative action national
  05/01/26
My throat has been hurting and I suspect it’s from all...
Opaque Wonderful Lay
  05/01/26
Do you ever think you'll go private?
provocative drab alpha
  05/01/26
Yeah, I may do it eventually but I just hate the idea of bei...
Opaque Wonderful Lay
  05/01/26
...
angry regret
  05/01/26
...
provocative drab alpha
  05/01/26
...
angry regret
  05/01/26
Yea plus youre dumb and lazy and would fail miserably
Amber Ceo Resort
  05/01/26
Shalom.
angry regret
  05/01/26
congrats!
marvelous brass box office dragon
  05/01/26
Ginger tea with honey!
laughsome depressive
  05/01/26
180
angry regret
  05/01/26
Looking forward to this, ty
Opaque Wonderful Lay
  05/01/26
...
angry regret
  05/01/26
Not sure how sterilizing your kid is gonna help w the trial
Amber Ceo Resort
  05/01/26
Okay, I lol’d
angry regret
  05/01/26
...
mauve volcanic crater laser beams
  05/02/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2026 12:19 PM
Author: Opaque Wonderful Lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49851221)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2026 12:20 PM
Author: pontificating halford

3-5 current posters max has ever done a jury trial

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49851229)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2026 12:23 PM
Author: Opaque Wonderful Lay

You guys do trials in SaAs Law, Ricky?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49851237)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 4:10 PM
Author: pontificating halford

Not Ricky, jewish darkness tp

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49857429)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 7:35 PM
Author: angry regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49857978)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2026 12:32 PM
Author: Umber hairraiser mad cow disease



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49851269)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2026 12:38 PM
Author: Opaque Wonderful Lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49851296)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 9:13 PM
Author: angry regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49858174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2026 12:32 PM
Author: Vigorous anal public bath

the elegant lisp, the sassy hand motions, all of it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49851271)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2026 6:07 PM
Author: mauve volcanic crater laser beams



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49852359)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 7:36 PM
Author: angry regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49857979)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2026 2:07 PM
Author: violet piazza elastic band



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49854597)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 9:02 PM
Author: marvelous brass box office dragon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49858147)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 9:03 PM
Author: marvelous brass box office dragon

you forgot the WOC paralegal

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49858148)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 9:06 PM
Author: angry regret

Flocks of stylish WoCs in business casual attire tp

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49858159)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2026 5:41 PM
Author: mauve volcanic crater laser beams

https://imgur.com/a/does-she-know-xw1Aoz0

:-((( I'd be better off in a pine box, on a slow train back to Georgia than recalling that heady week.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49860142)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2026 5:48 PM
Author: angry regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49860161)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2026 5:27 PM
Author: Opaque Wonderful Lay

Just got the not guilty verdict. Pretty chill.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49852210)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2026 5:30 PM
Author: Vigorous anal public bath

Did you hit the jury with dat "i'm gay" during closing?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49852219)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2026 5:51 PM
Author: Opaque Wonderful Lay

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, in conclusion, I love men

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49852289)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2026 5:51 PM
Author: angry regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49852293)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2026 5:53 PM
Author: laughsome depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49852307)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2026 7:20 PM
Author: Vivacious bonkers immigrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49852622)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2026 6:06 PM
Author: mauve volcanic crater laser beams

180!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49852357)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 29th, 2026 10:27 PM
Author: Umber hairraiser mad cow disease

hell yeah

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49852981)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2026 1:06 PM
Author: Opaque Wonderful Lay

Attorney watching my closing said I TROUNCED the DA. It was a felony theft and vandalism where someone was seen on video driving a forklift through a fence into a business and taking pallets with the forklift lol. The video showed a guy with an orange vest, a ski mask and dark clothing. My client was found about an hour later 0.5 miles away on his escooter at 4 am wearing clothes matching that description.

There was also a security guard who ID’d my client as the guy. One issue was that the security guard got on the stand and didn’t really remember IDing my client and said he was far away and it was hard to see much

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49854517)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2026 2:11 PM
Author: Bright Corner

What happened to the pallets?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49854603)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2026 2:22 PM
Author: Opaque Wonderful Lay

He dropped a few and they were scattered all over the street, then he tried to get another load on the forklift and just Left them on the side of the road lol. So he wasn’t successful in stealing them and there was no getaway vehicle/car to load the pallets onto caught on video

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49854623)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 11:50 AM
Author: provocative drab alpha

What a retard. Were you saying ur client wasn’t that guy or it didn’t meet the elements of theft? Why didn’t DA bring criminal mischief charge

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49856810)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 12:05 PM
Author: Opaque Wonderful Lay

To be precise, We got the theft charge dropped at the preliminary hearing (probable cause hearing) by the judge. So this trial was just for felony vandalism. My argument was that they got the wrong guy.

Additional facts in my favor :

my client was actually the second guy they stopped. The first guy was also wearing a ski mask and dark clothing but he had a yellow jacket. It was clearly different than the orange vest that could be seen in the video surveilllance , so they let the guy go. (He told officers he was going to work). I argued that had the police investigated a bit more they might have found a third or fourth guy wearing a similar working class uniform with a ski mask and orange vest because this was an industrial area, and maybe whoever committed this crime was wearing something that he knew would be inconspicuous

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49856848)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 12:37 PM
Author: provocative drab alpha

How many people are out on the streets at 4 am in ski masks in Visalia, wtf is going on

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49856911)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 1:00 PM
Author: Opaque Wonderful Lay

To be fair, this was in the winter, when temp was in the 30s or early 40s

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49856950)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 1:41 PM
Author: Mind-boggling striped hyena

Post your closing argument text

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49857030)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 2:05 PM
Author: Opaque Wonderful Lay

Don’t have one. I wrote out some bullet points that cover the reasonable doubts that I wanted to address and then I freestyled it from there my man. I always practice out loud a lot in the car and pacing around the house though

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49857095)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 3:02 PM
Author: provocative drab alpha

I initially read this as “prancing around the house”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49857244)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 9:13 PM
Author: angry regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49858175)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2026 3:15 PM
Author: Mind-boggling striped hyena

How do you describe reasonable doubt for the retarded proles

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49859824)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 1:58 PM
Author: provocative drab alpha

I wonder what % of white people own a ski mask vs % of niggers that own one

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49857084)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 9:14 PM
Author: angry regret

The most prestigious per capita ski mask ownership discussion board in the world.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49858176)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 1:02 PM
Author: laughsome depressive

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49856953)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 4:56 PM
Author: Umber hairraiser mad cow disease

180. I love forklift cases

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49857530)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2026 2:11 PM
Author: Geriatric flesh theater stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49854604)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2026 1:08 PM
Author: Mewling awkward gay wizard fanboi

How much do you get paid now? Can I hire you?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49854522)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 11:43 AM
Author: Mewling awkward gay wizard fanboi



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49856799)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 12:40 PM
Author: gold costumed affirmative action national

just don't channel your outer EPAH. no one thinks of Kermit The Frog and sees a top tier lawyer.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49856919)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 4:20 PM
Author: Opaque Wonderful Lay

My throat has been hurting and I suspect it’s from all the talking in court and stress of trial. not to say that this was a really high pressure trial, but im usually exhausted for a couple days after… a comedown after all the adrenaline

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49857452)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 5:17 PM
Author: provocative drab alpha

Do you ever think you'll go private?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49857597)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 7:34 PM
Author: Opaque Wonderful Lay

Yeah, I may do it eventually but I just hate the idea of being distracted and stressed out by business concerns. This way I get the pure majesty of the law, but the high caseload is a downside.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49857972)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 7:34 PM
Author: angry regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49857974)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 8:34 PM
Author: provocative drab alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49858084)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 8:48 PM
Author: angry regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49858108)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 9:07 PM
Author: Amber Ceo Resort

Yea plus youre dumb and lazy and would fail miserably

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49858160)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 9:07 PM
Author: angry regret

Shalom.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49858162)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 9:03 PM
Author: marvelous brass box office dragon

congrats!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49858149)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 9:04 PM
Author: laughsome depressive

Ginger tea with honey!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49858150)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 9:05 PM
Author: angry regret

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49858156)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 9:36 PM
Author: Opaque Wonderful Lay

Looking forward to this, ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49858226)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 9:36 PM
Author: angry regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49858227)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 9:07 PM
Author: Amber Ceo Resort

Not sure how sterilizing your kid is gonna help w the trial

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49858161)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2026 9:13 PM
Author: angry regret

Okay, I lol’d

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49858173)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2026 5:49 PM
Author: mauve volcanic crater laser beams



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5861614&forum_id=2#49860163)